The Misadventure of Valerie Todad and Her Hostage
by spacegypsy1
Summary: Starts with a bit of Momento Mori in the warehouse but it quickly disintegrates and goes into alternate whatever after that.  Vala can't quite trust her memory so she kidnaps Daniel at gunpoint. Chapter three is rated M.
1. Chapter 1

Title:The Misadventure of Valerie Todad and Her Hostage Daniel Jackson

Author: spacegypsy1

Rating: Somewhat mature – Language and adult situations

Category: fluff/adventure/silliness/romance/nookie – The usual

Pairing: Daniel/Vala

Characters: Daniel Jackson, Vala Mal Doran, Teal'c, Cameron Mitchell, Sam Carter, Carolyn Lam

Spoilers/Timeline: Alternate scene for Momento Mori

Approximate Word Count: Chapter One: 2370. Chapter Two: 3675 Chapter Three: 3525 Chapter Four: 3145

SUMMARY: Starts with a bit of Momento Mori in the warehouse but it quickly disintegrates and goes into alternate whatever after that. Vala can't quite trust her memory so she kidnaps Daniel at gunpoint.

~0o0o0~

Determined to find her freedom she pointed the gun threateningly. "Get out of my way."

But the man only shook his head.

"Get out of my way, or I will shoot you."

Dropping his odd weapon, he raised his hands to show her he meant no harm. "You don't remember who you are, but I do. You won't shoot."

She hesitated, unsure, while visions crowded her confused mind. Recovering quickly she continued to hold him at gunpoint.

"If I let you go," he speaks softly, soothingly, "I know you're gonna make yourself disappear. You've been running so long it's almost second nature to you. You don't remember it, but you made a decision to stop running. It's over. Now it's time to come home."

Taking a breath, tears gathered and she thought that she remembered seeing him. Hearing that voice. Random visions scattered through her brain. Nearly crying she whispered a name, "Daniel?"

He smiled, moving towards her.

"Stop!" The gun lifted point blank, aimed at his head. She took a quick look towards where gunfire continued behind her. "Turn around and walk."

Eyes filled with doubt, he seemed to plead. "Vala."

She hesitated, momentarily confused by the intimate way he'd said her name. She blinked. Shook her head. "My name is Val, short for Valeria...Valerie Todad. And you? I assume you are called Daniel?" Not waiting for a response she pointed towards the door with the pistol. "Let's go."

Gunfire and the sound of zat fire continued to fill the air. "Vala...er...Val..." You need to remember..."

This time she jerked the gun once towards the outside, before jabbing it forward aimed at his chest. Her tone was threatening. "Now!"

He knew by the look in her eyes she was frightened and uncertain. Panicked, Daniel's mind raced. No way could he let her leave without him. Not ever again and even if she didn't remember, he did. As long as he was breathing and maybe even when he wasn't he needed her. He wanted her and he was ready to face whatever life threw at him. Except letting her go.

She'd had a brief moment of recognition – he was sure - so the best thing to do was to let her feel in control. He took off slowly, hoping she would have another moment of realization, or, the team would arrive in time.

Squinting against the glare of the sun Daniel stopped. "Where to now...Val?"

The gun pressed against his back and Daniel shivered with a touch of anxiety.

"Don't you have a car? Or maybe you have a space ship? Mitchell has lots of outer space thingies. MOVE!"

Daniel approached the Air Force SUV they had arrived in.

Vala spoke quietly unsure about the vehicle. "Do I know how to drive?"

"Nope." He said convincingly.

"You?"

"Nope." This time she noted a slight hesitation in the man's voice.

"You're about to learn. Get in."

~0o0o0~

Mitchell returned to the main room to find Sam and Teal'c already there. "Where the hell are they?"

Teal'c pointed to Daniel's zat on the floor of warehouse. "Our transportation is no longer parked out front."

"Great! Just great! She took him or someone else took both of them."

~0o0o0~

Driving, Daniel's mind was a whirlwind of ideas. Maybe he could talk some sense into her. And if that didn't work he needed to figure just how he was going to subdue her without either of them getting shot.

"Pull over." Vala pointed towards a clump of shrubbery.

"Where?"

"Right there near those bushes."

"Off the highway! In the middle of nowhere?"

They hadn't been on the road more than twenty minutes but Vala knew these people were smart and she wasn't about to get caught again. "Pull over, now!"

As instructed, Daniel made a sharp turn off the two lane. Vala...or Valerie kept waving him forward, onward through the small woodsy area to an open field. Finally when he could go no further, Daniel slammed the brakes on and with a deep sigh he sat quietly trying to figure out just what he needed to do. He turned to find her staring out the passenger window, gun lying on the seat. Grabbing the weapon he popped the magazine loose and tossed it out the window.

"Why didn't you escape?" She asked as if she really didn't care.

"Because I'm not going to point a gun at you and I don't think you would go just because I asked."

"Correct."

"So now I'm going to tag along peacefully and hope you remember things and we can go home."

Brightening, she turned towards him. "Home?...Are we married?"

"NO!"

"Are you married?"

"No."

She grinned. "That's nice. Me?"

"Not sure, but I don't think so. You sorta sent him on his way. Not sorry."

"Who? Who's not sorry?"

With a one shouldered shrug Daniel made no further comment.

_Interesting, _she thought to herself. "What if I find my space ship and take off?"

Voice going up an octave at the same time his brows lifted, he managed a reply. "Space ship?"

"If I'm an alien as Mitchell pointed out, unless of course he was lying, which is possible and most likely a stupid lie, how else did I get here? Actually I think I know where one is and it's invisible. Not sure how I know that. It's very disturbing...I mean that I really could be an alien from outer space as opposed to an alien from another country."

"Vala...Val...Valerie, no, we can't take that ship!"

"So there is a space ship!"

"That's why you wanted me to drive this way. You knew all along!"

"No, no, no... I didn't until just now...except possibly subconsciously, or as an alien I knew it subdermally or something like that. But it's close. I can feel it. I suppose I'm somehow connected to my ship? Like a living ship or something, right?"

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. "We don't use spaceships. And I'm not sure that one actually works. We go through..."

"Yes, yes, yes, that thing your Mitchell spoke of. SO where is it? The thingie you jump through?"

"I can take you there."

"Where is it?"

"It's not far."

"Where not far?"

"Over some mountains."

"Where over what mountains?"

"In the mountain! Alright, it's on the base... where you and I work. Together. On a team! In the opposite direction we are going!"

"Hmph. Stop yelling. A military base?"

He clamped his mouth, all but grinding his teeth causing his answer to spew forth in a snippy hiss. "YES!"

Ignoring his little outburst, she attempted to garner more information. "And you and I are co-workers?'

Sighing, he calmed down. "Right."

"Have we had sex...I mean together?"

"Nooo."

"How very disturbing. You're quite the catch. But so was your Mitchell."

"He's not my Mitchell."

With a much practiced blinking of her eyelids, Vala pouted, placing her hand on his wrist where it rested against the steering wheel. "Daniel...I feel dizzy." She gripped his wrist strongly.

"What? What's wro..."

She grinned as she zipped his wrist to the steering wheel with a plastic tie.

~0o0o0~

While Daniel concentrated on getting to his pocket knife on the opposite side of his free hand he intermittently kept an eye on the rearview mirror. She was behind the SUV, doors open and tossing things out. At the exact moment his fingers felt the knife deep in his jeans pocket he heard a tap on the window and turned.

Vala stood there with a P-90 pointed at his head.

"Come on, Vala...rie, let me loose. I'm not going anywhere..."

Shaking her head, she let go of the P-90 and held the zat up, opened the door and indicated he put his other hand on the steering wheel.

She probably wouldn't shoot him, but he was sure she wouldn't hesitate to zat him. Daniel puffed out a disgruntled breath, plopped his other hand up as instructed and he lifted his eyes to the ceiling in disgust. "Ouch, that's too tight!"

Vala shrugged and walked away, the P-90 dangling from the strap over her shoulder and his Beretta stuck in the back of her waistband. She looked dangerous and a tad more than sexy. Most likely he was witnessing more of what she was like before he met her.

Hopping in the passenger side, Vala dove under the dash board and began to take it apart.

Yanking wires loose, she stuck her hand up inside the mess and began to feel around. "I'm sure they have one, you clever fellows."

"One what?"

"Tracking system. Blinking, beeping something or the other."

"How?"

"How what?"

"How do you know? Maybe," he added with a snide tone, "you work for them and so you are privy to that information."

"Or. Maybe," she added huffing with effort to dig under the dash, "I'm an alien and I have special mental... Ah Ha!" She snatched out the device and held it up, "...powers."

"Probably not," he scowled, yanking at his bindings.

His smart ass tone was not lost on her. "You know, Daniel Whoever, there are things I could remember to do to you while I have you tied up."

_Seduction! Why didn't I think of that? Maybe she'd free me and I could overpower her, tie her up. _Daniel sucked in a breath at the unexpectedly erotic reaction to the thought of tying her up. He blurted out, "Like what? Specifically, I mean? Could you do? I've dreamed about you. I mean after I saw you naked."

She eyed him with suspicion. "When?"

His voice went low, deep and raspy, "I dream about you day and night." Which, unfortunately wasn't really a lie.

"Not that, when did you see me naked?"

"We were on a ship. You were unconscious and I had to change you out of...er... something that was dangerous. But I have to say..."

"Please! Captors can't have sex with their hostages. Don't you know anything? What kind of operation are you people running? Have I ever seen you naked?"

"Nope."

"That's disappointing." After tucking the device in her pocket she got out of the SUV and walked away.

It took him a minute to realize he couldn't see her. Hands strapped to the steering wheel he twisted every-which-a-way searching for her. "Vala...rie?"

When she didn't answer and he couldn't spot her he tried again. "VALERIE? Valerie Todad where the hell are you?"

~0o0o0~

Eyes closed in thought he figured she probably went to throw the locator off in the woods. Once Sam got the right direction, which shouldn't be long, they could pinpoint his chip signal and they'd be here any minute. Of course maybe Vala took off and he'd lost her again. The thought made his stomach turn.

She jumped into the SUV, bellowing, "I just thought of something!"

Daniel flinched his eyes popping open. "Where have you been! I was worried about you."

"Isn't that sweet. Well, as I was saying, I went to the road and tossed the tracking thingamabob into the bed of a passing truck. Then I suddenly thought. About you. Are you trackable?"

His effort to appear innocent went badly. "Er...nooo."

"Ah, you are. Damn, who are you people? I'm going to have to ditch you..."

"NO!"

His head snapped around towards her and his eyes, so blue, were serious, maybe just a tinge fearful. She wondered if he was in love with her. And realized that was pathetic – he needed her for some reason but she wasn't sure what.

"Vala...rie. I can take it out."

"Like Data?" She looked excited.

"It doesn't store data." He was baffled.

"No, Data not data."

"Oookaaayyy. But I can remove it."

"How? And more disturbingly, why?"

"Cut it out."

Vala grimaced, shaking her head. "Ouch."

"Because, if you go without me I may never see you again. You'll keep running."

"Why?"

"Because, I know you. And running is all you know other than the SGC."

Silent for a long moment she stared at him trying to understand. Her head hurt, her entire body ached. She was exhausted, hungry and she felt something for this man that unexpectedly scared her.

She hopped out of the vehicle and started sorting the pile she'd collected from the SUV. Vests, weapons, ammo, first aid, food, tools, packs. "SGC?" she said tossing a blanket on the keep pile.

"Right." He took a deep breath.

Eyeing him, frowning, she tossed another blanket on the keep pile. "That's a stupid name. Is it for Stupid Geek Company?"

"Huh?"

Ignoring him she continued her chore.

"I know that ship, Vala...damn...Valerie," He watched her in the rearview mirror. "There's been lots of modifications. You need me."

"Alright!" She shouted out, hands on her hips and glaring. "take the damned thing out and I'll think about taking you with me."

"I'll need your help."

Again she glared, "Will there be blood?"

"Some. A little. Probably more."

"I hate blood!"

~TBC


	2. Chapter 2

The Misadventure of Valerie Todad and Her Hostage Daniel Jackson

spacegypsy1

A/N: It's getting more and more of a slight AU or AR.

Chapter Two

~0o0o0~

"I doubt Vala is my real name, or anyone's real name, I think for sure I'm Valerie. Besides that, either name is so far from alien, either outer space or outer country it's just silly. Your friend made 'Vala' up. What other aliens do you know?"

Cranking his head around Daniel tried to see what she was doing. "Son of a bitch! Ow!"

"Be still! You know getting this nice black car and all those goodies I found in it is like winning...the...the...the thing with a ticket and numbers."

Daniel grimaced with pain, and grouched. "Lottery!"

"You don't have to get all mean about it! Are you one of the supposed aliens?"

"No."

"So, then what other aliens do you know?"

"Cassie..."

"Cassie! That is not outer space alien sounding at all, although if it is short for Cassiopeia it could work. Go on."

"Bra'tak..." He forced out through clinched teeth.

"Oh! I like that one. Now that's an alien name."

He was on a roll and it helped take his mind off her digging in his arm. "Jonas..."

"As in brothers? How many aliens are on earth? Are we taking over? Abducting people...oh! Oh! I abducted you! It must be in our alien genes. Are you alright? You look awfully pale. I'll be quick about it. I'm not sure I want to be an alien. Especially if you aren't one because...should we get to know each other really, really well on our adventure and the lines blur between captor/hostage ...what if...'things' don't fit? Though they appear to be quite normal indicating we are both not aliens or both aliens or something all together different."

He cut his eyes over and up to see her face better wondering at the sudden crazy feelings he experienced – not the pain – but this inexplicable attraction to Vala and/or Valerie, quirky and nutty, or sane and brilliant. Apparently any manifestation of this woman makes him want her. Squelching the notion Daniel dropped his gaze to his arm shocked to find it bleeding profusely. "Are you cutting my arm off! That's a lot of blood."

She shivered. "I know, gross, right? Don't be such a baby. This was your idea." Pulling the chip out with tweezers, she held it up in triumph. "There! All done. I think there's a doctor's sewing kit in that tiny hospital your people put in that huge bag with the red X on it."

"Cross."

"Whatever. Which by the way makes me think all you S. G. C.," she said the letters carefully, "warrior people are careless and get hurt a lot."

Obviously, all Daniel heard was 'sewing'. "What? Like stitches kind of sewing?"

"For heaven's sake, Daniel, what did you think?"

"Well, for one thing I just got a new one put in and it didn't take Carolyn four minutes to take one out and put a new one in and there was no sewing!"

Her gaze lifted slowly. "Carolyn who?"

"Lam, as in Doctor."

Eyes went back to her work. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"Not a chance. She's not my type."

"What is your type?"

_Apparently, you, Val and Valerie. _"Someone Mitchell isn't interested in." He looked down and found that Vala was pulling out a sterile pack marked _Sutures_. "Are you sure you have to sew it?"

"There's a gapping bleeding hole in your quite firm and delightfully sexy, in a turns me on kinda way, big manly arm. It has to be closed. I can stitch it up. For some reason I think I know how. Are you squeamish?"

"I've been dead a few times, I can take it."

"I'm not touching that one."

With a grunt of indignation Daniel's head sank back against the seat and his eyes fluttered closed.

Vala wrapped the wound loosely, setting all the medical supplies she needed in a neat row on the dashboard. "I'll just go take care of this chip so we don't have to worry and then nurse Valerie will be back to make it all better with cute little knotted bows."

Scooting out of the car, she found the tire iron and smashed the tiny chip into the dirt until she was satisfied it was inoperable. At least she hoped, as she was thinking there was someone, a blond someone, who was crafty at these types of things. Vala hit the chip again.

"There," she said crawling back in. "Daniel? Oh goodie, you've passed out. And I don't have to find that morphine stuff or the deadening agent mentioned in the 'how to sew up a big hole in an adorable man's arm' first aid book."

After closing the wound she redressed it then took a moment to look closely at him. This odd and disturbing attraction to him made her uncomfortable and unsure.

Finally Valerie puffed out a noisy breath and went to inventory her supplies. She tried the Beretta, and the P-90, but she found she liked the odd crooked penis looking weapon the best. Not only did it have charm but apparently she could only stun and not kill, similar to, but different from, a phaser, though she wasn't exactly sure what a phaser was.

Having accidentally found the morphine while she inventoried, she'd given Daniel a healthy dose – just in case – and left him tied to the steering wheel while she headed for the highway, one of the packs on her shoulder, to hitch a ride somewhere up the road where, hopefully, her alien space craft awaited her.

All the while walking towards the road something about X-files kept popping into her head and she considered the fact that maybe that was what she and possibly this Daniel cutie did for a living. Though, why would an alien, if indeed she was one, look and speak like Earthlings? Ah, subterfuge! Perhaps she'd had some kind of plastic surgery. Vala opened her blouse front and inspected her breasts.

Reaching the roadside, she fluffed her hair, unbuttoned a few buttons on her pretty blue blouse, licked her finger to 'wash' a spot or two of dirt off, struck a sexy pose and stuck her thumb out. "Obviously," she said aloud. "I'm quite good at a few things."

Only minutes passed before a shiny red sports car arrived coming to a screeching halt. The window went down and she leaned in, arms folded on the window frame, blouse gapping just right and cleavage working magic. "Hey, good looking, can you give a girl a lift?"

The lock clicked open. "Sure thing, honey, hop on in."

"Nice car," She complimented. "I'm Valerie Todad." Buckling her seat belt she batted her dark lashes and gave him one of her best sultry looks.

"I'm Steve, Valerie. Where you headed?" The young man took off spinning his tires and throwing loose gravel behind him.

"I'm a bit lost. My car ran out of gas. I'm supposed to meet my friend just outside of the next town. He works for that military installation. You know where that is?"

"Sure do, sweetie, I know right where it is. They hang out there guarding some crates. Two of 'em. They change the guards every four hours. Nobody knows what the heck they're doin' there. You're not in a hurry are you?"

"Not particularly, why?" Valerie's hand slid into the pack.

"Well, I'm just wondering what kinda favor you had in mind in exchange for the ride?"

The whine of the zat opening had Steve turning for a look.

"Well. Darling. You see, I'm from outer space and I'm not too happy about it. So I can kill you with razor beams from my eyes or...I can use this penis phaser like gun."

"Ah, shit! Don't shot me! Please. I've gotta wife and kids!"

"Of course you do, and if you ever cheat on your wife again I will take you up to my space ship and to my men alien friends for a probing! Now shut up, drive fast and stop when I say stop!"

~0o0o0~

"Valerie," she said to herself. "That was ridiculously easy. I hope we find more of these fancy yet odd phaser guns." Blowing across the end of the zat like some fast draw cowboy, Valerie Todad checked Steve and the guards to be sure they weren't dead. Then without a thought she searched and found the remote, made the ship appear to her utter delight and skipped aboard.

"So. Now. Let me see." She rubbed her hands together in excitement. "Okay, we want to change the nav station to respond only to me." A few strokes on the console and she grinned. "Now, turn off tracking and to make sure we'll just switch a few crystals around."

Once she was through with her changes, she sat at the helm. _Wild, I am an alien and I find that very weird._ _Though it comes in handy with space ships! _

~0o0o0~

She came to a soft landing very close to the SUV. Knowing she needed to hurry - it's not like those clever X-File people of his were going to be put off forever - Valerie left the cargo ship's hatch open and checked on Daniel.

He was drugged, that was for sure, but he seemed to be handling it pretty well, or she hoped as well as a person knocked out on morphine should be doing. Head lolled to one side, glasses askew, mouth slack.

Rushing she began to load the items she'd decided to take, stashing them in the false walls she'd discovered when she'd first boarded. There was no denying her status as an alien from outer space since she went right to that spot and found the hidey hole. Amazing. Hopefully she would discover some other super powers – intuition not being very exciting. Finally all was loaded with the exception of one incredibly handsome man.

She stood staring at him asleep...okay, passed out and tied to the steering wheel. Her breasts ached and her traitorous heart fluttered. But he might need medical attention. Maybe she should leave him. His friends would eventually find him. Turning she thought to leave. Unsure of what stopped her Valarie spun around and ran to the SUV, threw the door open and cut him loose.

He groaned. She pulled him halfway out. He groaned. She grunted with effort and got momentum. Unfortunately he was much heavier than anticipated and he dropped like a leaded balloon onto the ground. And groaned.

"Alright. Super strength is not my super power. You're like a soggy noodle! Heavy noodle. Sexy noodle. What with your shirt tail all twisted up and your adorable belly showing. But I should leave you right here. On the ground!"

Taking him by the ankles she pulled, tugged and yanked, all the while mumbling curses, until finally she had him on the ship. With a grin of pure revenge, Valerie stripped him naked and then wished she hadn't.

Momentarily paralyzed, she stared. Then she nibbled on the side of her lip and cocking her head in the opposite direction she sighed in admiration. Finally, as a distraction, she reached into her pocked and pulled out an elastic band, gathered her hair and bound it up as she turned away.

To clear her head Valerie made one last foray outside to toss the unwanted items back into the SUV and set it afire. "There!" She said dusting her hands off.

Rolling her prize over to his side where he instinctively took the fetal position, she stepped across him and hopped into the pilot seat. "Well, off we go. The alien from outer space, Valerie Todad, and her willing hostage, Daniel Somebody."

~0o0o0~

The ship sailed smoothly into space and zipped along towards some destination that had popped into her head – quite possibly her home alien planet, though if it were home it wouldn't be alien. She'd checked the auto navigation, left the helm, and explored the Tel'tak further making sure to keep her gaze and her mind from the finely muscled naked man on the floor.

Boredom set in mere hours into the flight and with her gorgeous hostage still passed out she set about more exploring. Eventually Valerie found a nail file, nail polish and a strange but totally huggable stuffed, long necked, thin legged and spotted...creature in a pack she'd snagged from the vehicle.

Stowing the pack again she sat down to file and polish her nails while staring at the cute soft beast she'd placed on the console.

"Oh, gods, I hurt." Her prisoner moaned.

"I'm saving the pain meds for later, seeing as you might have had a bit too much. However I did find something other than the heavy duty drugs. I think there's something about being prophine but I can't get the cap off the bottle."

He moaned again, rolling to his back. "'kay. Why'm I naked?"

"Because you saw me naked while I was unconscious so I decided to see you naked while you were unconscious.

"Makes sense."

"I'll read up on Morphine and bee-prophines to be sure I haven't given you too much Morphine and if the other ones work on your condition. I'm about to fall asleep. I've got it all automized to land on a planet somewhere where I think it is, but surely someone needs to be awake for landing. I need sleep. And food, I think we have food because I read a box of packs that said 'Meal, Ready To Eat'. And can you tell me what that silly, yet amazingly endearing little un-alive creature is that I found...Daniel? Daniel?" She tossed a blanket over him and went in search of meals that purportedly were ready to eat.

~0o0o0~

Sam didn't look too happy when Cam entered.

"The SUV's device was located in the bed of a pickup truck. So the teams are back trackin' to figure out where we lost 'em." The Colonel still looked worried.

"She's too damned smart, even without her memory. I just hope she's going to be okay."

"Yeah, seems likely with the intel we got that it's just the two of them. I think that's why Jackson went with her. He's a big boy, he coulda taken her down at some point, maybe. Probably didn't want to spook her."

Teal'c, in his usually seemingly unconcerned and stoic fashion entered the lab. His head tilted in a short bow and his jaw twitched with vexation. "I have received a report that a man picked up a woman fitting ValaMalDoran's description. According to him she held him hostage with an odd weapon. The man stated the woman insisted he take her to her sh..."

General Landry appeared at the doorway and interrupted. "The Tel'tak is gone. The guards were zatted. The search teams have located the SUV, if you want to be the first to look it over, you have a go. We're trying to track the ship but she's disabled that somehow. I'd like to know how the hell that happened since we spent a small fortune on installing a new beacon."

"Did not ValaMalDoran install the changes on the ship?"

Later, Cam, arms crossed and head shaking in disbelief, stared at the burned out SUV. "She did a number on this one."

Sam picked through debris. "The vests are gone, all four SG-1 packs, ammo, medkit, P-90 and a zat."

"Ah. The 'odd' looking weapon." Teal'c bent and picked up something off the ground. "Here, ColonelCarter. I believe this to be a subdermal chip."

Coming closer, Sam took the tiny chip in hand. "That's it. We'll take it back, but it's more than likely Daniel's. Our only hope is that she regains her memory. He should have overpowered her."

"Ha, she's sneaky, devious, and tricky. She's probably got his pants off, or more. Poor guy didn't have a chance. And I should know."

~0o0o0~

When Daniel woke up he found Vala sound asleep on the floor near him. The Tel'tak rested on the ground and there didn't seem to be any issues to deal with.

Still a bit groggy he dressed, found the MRE accessory pack, managed to relieve Vala of most of her clothes, tried to restart the ship, manipulate the nav system, find the tracking system. But the lovely little witch had changed the crystals, locked out the navigation panel and disabled the tracking system. All he had accomplished this fine morning was to make very bad coffee.

Six resting against the console he watched her a minute contemplating tying her up. He grumbled, "Damn." Tied up, there's that image again, this time compounded by the fact she was in nothing but sexy underwear.A very bad miscalculation on his part and the reason he'd opted to stop the undressing of his captor.

"Oh, Valarie, time to wakie wakie." When she didn't budge, he yelled, "VALARIE!"

Vala jackknifed straight up, hair a whirlwind of confusion, and blinked, squinted and pulled back with a frown. "Who the hell are you?"

"Funny."

Looking around she couldn't spot a weapon. "That's an odd name. Why am I naked? And who is Valarie?"

"You're not naked."

"I'm almost naked except for these very strange, and small, but cute, fancy but not clothes thingies. Where is my new leather top and my older but less than old leather pants? I do have clothes don't I? Real clothes, because not even I would run around in these. And, by the way, I'm Vala. I have never been a Val or a Valerie."

"Sure, okay, I'll tell you where your clothes are... Vala, as soon as you tell me about the nav system, the tracking device and where all the crystals you switched actually go."

"Who ARE you? And why am I here?"

His eyes went evilly wide and irritation clouded his speech. "Come on Vala! Let's not play that game."

"I'm supposed to meet Tenat and I am not playing games. Look, whatever they are paying you, I'll pay you double. I have to get this ship to Tenat. And no one will stop me."

Troubled, Daniel stood up, moving closer, his irritation gone. "Tenat...that was years ago. You're serious? You don't remember?"

"No, I don't remember you. And I'd remember something like you."

"Oh, shit. Don't you remember being in the warehouse?

Vala shook her head.

"Okay. You had, have, a little...memory issue. I'm Dr. Daniel Jackson. Ph.D., archeology, language, etcetera, etcetera." When Vala continued to stare blankly, he knew he had a problem. He thought for a few seconds deciding on truth being the lesser part of Vala. "Okay, ah, you and I escaped from... er...the bad guys." He pointed to his arm. "I got shot. You doctored me up before you passed out. You were...ah...well...hit on the head and obviously woke up with amnesia."

"I don't do partners." She insisted, looking down at her underwear.

"That was before. Now it's you and me all the way. We're...er..." His face screwed up in thought, "married. Yeah, married."

Vala put her head in her hands. "Oh. My. God. I did it again. Klingon Ale, right?"

"What? Who?"

"The Bad Guys. The Klingons from the Klingon Empire, they speak Klingon. I wondered if Joop had some Klingon in him, but certainly not Tenat!"

Now Daniel was completely confused. "No. I know who Joop and Tenat...were... I don't know the others. I don't know that language."

"You're a language doctor and you don't know Klingon? That's absurd!"

"Wait! Klingon? That's not a real language!"

"Of course it is."

"Really, you speak Klingon?"

"Of course I do, doesn't everyone?"

"Say something in Klingon."

"Kree. Mal lo onak! Shin tel?"

Daniel threw his hands out. "That's Goa'uld!"

When she came off the floor, looking very sexy in nothing but her pink bra and panties, Daniel realized he'd not actually made a big mistake he'd created a catastrophe! Yanking his jacket down, he looked away.

"Who the hell are the Gould?"

His eyes darted everywhere but to her. "Who...who...who..."

"You sound like an owl!"

"You remember Joop and Tenat, and owls? That you're Vala and that you used to wear leather, but not the Goa'uld? Your brain is totally scrambled." Daniel plopped down at the helm. "Holy shit, Vala, we're doomed. If you can't remember the codes, or the crystal configuration, or that Klingons aren't real we'll never get home."

"We will certainly be doomed if the Klingons – who are real - catch us and now we have to worry about that Gould gang too." Vala sat down across from Daniel, inspecting the lace on her bra. "This is really quite lovely. Where'd I get it?"

"Victoria's Secret."

"Who's Victoria?"

"Your best friend."

"Then why's it a secret?"

He shook his head a little upset that he found himself attracted to every aspect of her and more profoundly, that he had the capacity to tell amazingly strange and untrue tales on the fly, so he tossed in a taste of the truth. "And we don't have to worry about the Goa'uld most of them are dead now, or hiding."

"Does Victoria have long blond hair?"

"Sure."

"So, darling, we only need worry about the Klingons?"

"Nope, not them either. You don't remember but they joined our group which is now called the SGC. That's where we work and that's where we have to find our way to so we can get you some help so you remember."

"Oh. Well that's nice. But, I don't know how to find our way back because I don't remember, because, as a doctor you should realize that amnesia means I lost my memories. Though by the looks you've been giving me, you remember quite the interesting things about me."

Sighing, Daniel dropped his chin nearly to his chest, and raised narrow eyes to her. "Not that kind of doctor. Listen, you made some changes to the ship and now we have to work on getting your memory back."

"We're really lost, darling."

"What?"

Vala flapped a hand around. "Lost, unable to find our way."

"Home? Or in general?"

"Anywhere."

His head snapped up and he leaned close to her face, voice seething. "You just made the changes yesterday! This is the top of the line ship, it should be easy. You know this stuff like the back of your hand!"

Vala stared at the back of her hand a moment. "This doesn't look familiar to me. I mean, really, this hand is dry and the nails are all chipped and broken and unevenly filed though nicely coated with a color I'm not familiar with. I don't understand any of this 'stuff'." Her eyes scanned the blinking lights and buttons, then the surrounding ship. "And apparently neither do you."

Daniel thumped his head against the console. "I understood it before you screwed it up! Now what?"

"I have no idea what we can do. And just so you know, I know who I am. Maybe not which name or which persona, but I feel like me inside. Now, can I have my clothes? Or should we just take our clothes off and have sex? I mean I'm halfway there."

It was the "me in inside" that he knew he cared for, loved, but now wasn't the time for that. Regrettably. He needed to get them home and safely. "We don't have time for sex."

"We have nothing but time. And apparently it was the Klingon Ale. I never in my right mind would marry a man who didn't have time for sex!"

~TBC ~warning..Chapter Three is Mature and just might be considered a bit off the rails of character canon.. just fyi


	3. Chapter 3

The Misadventure of Valerie Todad and Her Hostage Daniel Jackson

spacegypsy1

_WARNING: Goes a bit off the rails from what some consider character canon. Rated somewhat M (for nookie)._

Chapter Three

~0o0o0~

Close quarters and close encounters...of the accidental touching kind, had Daniel on constant guard. He'd never admitted before, even to himself, that he loved Vala, he loved her more every day – regardless of which persona she choose for the moment.

He loved every cell of of her. Loved her mud covered, rain drenched, filthy and smelling of gun smoke. In a T-shirt or a tiara. On his lap or on a mission. Dressed to kill – people or just to turn him on.

In every moment he'd known her she could make him laugh one second and have him yelling the next. Vala was stunning. She was all things beautiful. Quirky and classy. And nearly impossible to resist.

So here they were after days of working on the ship while Vala had flashes of memory. Between the two of them they'd managed to get a few systems operational. But without stable navigation, they were reluctant to take off for parts unknown.

Frustrated and out of coffee, Daniel slammed both fists against the array of buttons and suddenly a map appeared and the coordinates ran across the screen.

"I've never seen that happen in all my years of flying." Vala looked truly awed.

Daniel laughed. "Well, I've seen it once and it was you who did it."

"Aren't we clever darling? How is your arm?"

He rubbed the tender spot. "Sore, scarred, more than likely infected, probably has to be amputated. Maybe we can find a surgeon on..."

Gasping she turned to him with a look of utter horror.

He reached and touched her face, then pulled away quickly. "I'm kidding. It's healing fine. I doubt I'll even have a scar. You could have been a surgeon. Or at the very least a seamstress."

"Ha. I'm not likely to become anything with my brainless brain."

"Vala, you're one of the smartest women I know. You amaze me."

"And I speak Klingon."

"And nonsense. Don't forget you're THE expert at speaking nonsense."

"Really?"

Forcing his attention away from her Daniel tried to study the charts but failed and twisted back around to see her. "Yep."

"Right! Now you have to stop looking at me with those sexy blue eyes while I try to remember how to get this thing off the ground and on our way."

"I can help with that."

"With the no looking sexy eyes?"

"With the getting this thing off the ground."

"Oh."

Daniel stowed the gear while Vala double checked the crystals. When he returned they both started for their seats, bumping into each other. He laughed and she smiled.

She placed a hand on his shirt front. "Daniel, I think I remember something."

He felt the heat of her hand, and fought to not close his eyes and revel in the warmth. "What?"

"Well, besides the fact that I know you, on the very deepest level and that I know we are meant to be together, though for some odd reason I think you have some issues, but...I remember something specific. Sex."

His eyes widened, no longer in danger of closing. "Huh?"

"Of course I remember sex in general, and if we were married, or so you said or made up or not, but I think I remember sex with you on a ship. A large ship. I was naked and you were leaning over..."

"Nope. We never did it on a ship, small or large...ship."

Staring at him, Vala reached up and stroked his cheek. "Do we have children?"

"What?"

"Do we have children?"

"Noooo. Why would you ask that?"

"You're sure, not even one? A girl, rather precocious or actually downright mean?" Her hand moved to his uninjured arm as she smiled up at him. "Did I sit on your lap...a lot? I don't always understand you, do I? Or vice versa. I think you lied to me, on several occasions, to insure my cooperation."

He drew a deep breath, suddenly very aroused by her touch. "I lied to insure I didn't lose you."

"You do like girls then?"

"I was once married to one." He could barely speak as her hands roamed across his chest.

"Oh. I was once married to one too. I feel a very strong attraction to you, by the way, and I think there are some very deep feelings all tangled up with us."

Considering her condition he ignored the 'once was too'. "We do tend to get our feelings tanged." His hands took hold of her shoulders to set her back, but instead he caressed her.

With a heart stopping sexy pout, she moved closer. "And, so I assume or actually know we really are not married...yet?"

"We work together. We're very close, but no...not married."

"You're absolutely sure we have never had sex...yet?"

"Positive. We haven't had sex."

"Hmmm, well, darling," She said running her hands under his shirt. "No time like the present."

His reaction to her hands on his bare skin was immediate, sensational, and filled him with pure lust. "Vala...ah...I don't think this is the place or the time. Ready or not, we should wait. And, I think we should wait until you're fully healed. So that you remember things between us and know this is really what you want."

Without thinking, Daniel cupped her neck, his thumb grazing her chin, back and forth. The realization that he was fighting a losing battle hit him hard. He'd won that battle against her charms on the Prometheus, but that was before he'd fallen in love with her.

He sighed, making eye contact with her smoky, lovely eyes. "I haven't exactly been the friend I should have been. Or allowed any intimacy, though you offered...frequently and I suffered by refusing you. I'm not losing you ever again. I adore you. I...I love you. I don't want to take advan..."

"Daniel," she cooed as she started undoing his pants. "Sex is therapeutic."

"Vala. It wouldn't be fair to...OH. Oh my god." He shucked out of his shirt in record time.

Her eyes raked across his chest with an intense, heated look. "I think, darling, you just took the words right out of my mou..."

He kissed her, urgently, instantly taking full possession of her mouth as his hands started their own fight for possession of her incredible body.

Once her blouse was tossed aside his hands cupped her over the shear silky lace of her pink bra. He sighed in pleasure at the same instant she did. Vala reached behind her back to undo the clasp.

"Mmm," he mumbled in her mouth as his tongue continued to delve and retreat, "I'll do that." His hands slid around and undid the clasp and he tugged the straps down. His mouth left hers and his gaze dropped as her flesh came free of the material. Slowly he ran his hungry lips down her throat, to the hollow of her neck and at last settled on one breast and then the other.

She arched, moaned, surrendered to him, knowing instinctively she loved this man and had for some time.

His thumbs slipped under the elastic of the matching pink panties and he tugged, running his fingers fully under the silk, and around to grab her delectable butt – as he had wanted to do for years. His mouth now urgent and demanding inching up her neck and then her jaw coming to settle over her lips to ravage her mouth with a passion long denied.

Vala, enthralled and caught up in the fire of desire, met his kiss with abandon. Wanting him desperately, she attempted to push his jeans downward, but he was too tight against her, too involved in his indulgence of her kiss. She gave up with a pleading moan, bucking away from the inferno of his body. He got the message and reluctantly pulled back.

He stripped, his eyes raking her body and his grin melting her soul. Daniel took her hand to lead her forward. He sat sideways in the pilot's seat, slowly removing her panties. There was perfection in the way her hair veed against pale soft skin. He ran his hands through the dark patch and lifted his gaze to watch her reaction.

Vala grabbed his head, her nails digging into his scalp, eyes closing, her mouth falling open with the slightest breath catching in her throat. She tried to speak but only could moan out 'please' with a breathy whisper.

Her legs went weak, hands dropping to his shoulder for support. Her breath shortened. Her moans of pleasure grew louder. Her heart felt close to bursting.

The touch of his wet mouth traveling like lava flow down her belly sent little ripples across her body. His hand slipped between her legs and she jerked with the pleasured invasion until he pulled away and she cried out, "No!" And heard his chuckle.

Daniel took hold of her hips, moving her to straddle his legs and bringing her down, guiding her over him. His deep rumbled murmur sent a thrill up her spine.

Body trembling Vala growled low in her throat sinking, bringing him fully into her.

Daniel nearly lost control. Eyes squeezed closed tightly. His chest constricted. He yanked her closer, feeling her soft breasts brush against his unyielding chest. He leaned away, touched her face. Reached up and took the band from her pony tail, pulling the silky black strands forward, before pushing one side away to suck the flesh of her neck before moving his lips to her collarbone.

Arching as he heightened the pace, her head fell back giving him access to her dusky nipples. He was about to latch on when Vala began to move, stealing his control and Daniel gasped with the sensation.

Her head dropped forward and he saw her wicked smile. Barely able to speak, Daniel rasped out, "Oh, so that's the way it's gonna be."

~0o0o0~

Cuddled together on the shelf like structure – where Valerie Todad had ingeniously crafted cushioning and blankets the day before – Vala and Daniel slept.

Opting to wait until daylight to leave, since their foray into lovemaking had resulted in long hours of playfulness, passion, and unimaginable pleasure, they'd moved into the cargo hold and now slept the sleep of spent lovers.

Daniel muttered something against the back of her neck before turning to his back. Vala stretched, flipping over to snuggle into the warmth of his body.

"We need to go." He mumbled fighting the guilt that raised its ugly head and bit at his heels. "I'm thinking we should head for that planet with a Stargate. The closest one. That's the quickest way home."

"I know, darling. But it's so very comfortable here in your arms."

He was angry at himself for falling victim to the charms of one or all of his captors. Val, Vala and Valerie. A decent man would have waited. Decent wasn't what he wanted – he wanted her – the ghost in her machine.

Sitting up, his intention to sound normal failed miserably and his voice tainted his words with self-reproach. "We'll have time for that later. We need to locate that planet with a Stargate to find our way home."

Vala being in the front, jumped up, shook the hair out of her face, and naked as the day she was born, parked a hand on one hip and sighed. "I'm beginning to understand you, I mean being mad at yourself. I think I remember that about you. So, since I am anything but feeling guilty, I need to know who I am or was or should be. Tell me about me."

Daniel ran a hand through his hair, and squinted at her, trying to bring her into focus, then turned away knowing that wasn't the best of plans. "I can't think without coffee." _Or with you standing there naked._

"Pfft, we're out. I can't go or won't go 'home' if I have no idea who I am."

He stared at her quietly for a moment before a smile slowly took over his face. "Alright. You're a member of Stargate Command. On SG-1, the original team, by the way..."

Vala grinned, fluffing her hair and sitting beside him to snuggle under the blanket. "Go on."

A brief sigh escaped him as she leaned her lovely flesh against him. "SG-1 consists of our leader, Colonel Cam Mitchell."

"I vaguely remember him...no pants?"

"Right. Then you and me and Teal'c."

"Oh, Tealed? Never heard of him."

"Teal'c."

"Tealllkk. What kind of name is that?"

He wasn't ready to mention the Jaffa just yet. "It's, ah, a warrior name. And there used to be five of us, but Sam moved up into other things."

"Nope, don't remember him."

"Her. Samantha. Your good friend."

"Oh, goodie, I have a girl friend, as opposed to a girlfriend." Vala turned and placed a quick wet kiss on his arm before laying her head against his chest. "That's not really about me, though, is it? Tell me about me. Who I am – my history."

Daniel rested his cheek on the top of her head but said nothing.

Sounding downhearted, Vala ducked her head further. "That bad, eh?"

He lifted her face to brush a kiss on her sweet lips. "I just think," he said taking his lips to her forehead, "that it would be better to wait and talk about that later."

~0o0o0~

They'd stopped at the planet's moon after being waylaid from the planet. Seems they required documents to land. Documents to stay and documents for permission to use the Stargate. Each to be found and purchased on the largest moon.

Daniel relaxed against the tub, Vala against him, her back to his chest and her head resting on his shoulder.

Lazily he cupped sudsy water and drizzled it over her breasts. Guilty or not he wasn't going to ever stop being with her. He was sure of that. "You haven't yet told me how we could afford this version of moon base luxury. And of course I've been a little afraid to ask since you wandered out while I was sleeping."

"I suppose it's a gift. Trading things. I wouldn't know since you are the only living thing I know that knows anything about me."

"Mmm. What'd you trade?"

"Things."

He stopped with the drizzling water. "Vala. What things?"

"Well, mainly, extra medical equipment." She scooted up in the tub and turned the hot water on.

He reached across her and turned it off. "What did you trade? Exactly."

Head down, she mumbled something.

"I can't hear you." He rested his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. "Vala?"

"Something called Morphine I found in the bag with the big red X."

"Cro...Holy buckets, Vala! Drug dealing! That stuff could kill..."

Throwing his arms off her she spun sending water lapping over the tub rim like a tsunami. "I sold it to that mission clinic, and very cheaply I might add! They already have something similar, but not very much of it and they don't ask questions seeing as the government on that big planet saves all the good stuff for the rich people."

Sitting back, Daniel draped his arms over the sides of the tub. "I'm sorry." Guilt seemed to be his constant companion. Her head went down again, wet hair covering her face. "I'm sorry, Vala." Leaning forward he parted her wet hair like a curtain, tucking each side behind an ear. Smiling, sweetly, he caught her eyes watching him intently.

"I must have been one hell of a sleaze bag, con-artist, thief, pirate, mercenary...if I used to sell drugs."

"You didn't. Ever. Before I met you, before you joined SG-1 you stole things and traded for other things in order to survive. Not drugs. Cheap jewelry, ship parts, crystals."

"I don't remember much about before I met you. And not much since except those flashes of you and those other people. Nothing much but waking up to you and every second after that I became more and more assured that I was safe with you. I think...I know whoever I was I loved you."

~0o0o0~

Their simple shopping expedition went bad within the first five minutes of leaving the inn. They rounded a corner and Daniel grabbed Vala pulling her back into the alley.

Knowing from his expression he'd spotted something, she whispered, "What?"

Daniel leaned out to get a better look and Vala stepped forward to take a peek.

He yanked her back. "That's the Lucian Alliance! They may recognize us, we need to be careful."

"What'd we do to them?"

"A whole lot of things."

"Plunder? Kill? Maim? Steal? Misappropriate?"

"Yes!" He hissed.

"Well, so the SGC is also sleaze bags, con-artists, thieves, pirates, and mercenaries?

"No. It's not like that. We protect people. On our planet and other planets."

"If you say so. I'm sure I can take them both and you won't have to break a nail."

He shot her a narrow eyed glare.

Vala shrugged and rolled her eyes. "So what do we do?"

"Watch, try to figure out what the hell they are up to. Oh, ho, rebel Jaffa?"

"Which one's the Jaffa and how come the Jaffa is a rebel?"

"These two are wearing the old garb, chain mail, though not the shiny suit – at least not the whole tamale. The ones in the military uniforms are the Lucian Alliance."

"I thought or I think I remember that a tamale is a food like a burrito, but not, as in it doesn't roll up, actually it really isn't at all like a burrito." Vala leaned out for a closer inspection of exactly what a rebel Jaffa looked like. "Oh," She looked away, "that's sparked some brain cells. And not pleasant ones. If those tattooed foreheaded ones are the Jaffa, I think I might have been one of those."

"Nope. Con-artist, thief, pirate, mercenary. But never a Jaffa." With his hand on her arm as he watched the Jaffa Daniel felt a sudden change in her and turned.

Her eyes were wide with something much worse than fear.

"Vala?"

"Goa'uld. I'm Goa'uld."

"NO!" He took her into his arms, his hand on the back of her head, bringing her tortured looking face to his chest. "No. Not you, Vala. Don't remember it like that. It wasn't you!"

"I saw it, flashes, always flashes. I've seen them before. I know that now. I killed... I killed...I killed my...my fiancé. I..." She let out a sob that tore through him like a staff blast. "I used him and then I killed him with pleasure. It felt good. It felt so go..."

"STOP! Listen to me!" His fingers treaded through her hair tilting her face to his. "I swear on my life it was not you. The Goa'uld are parasites, she took you as a host. It was never you, Vala. I know. I know it was never you." He felt the sting of tears in his own eyes as hers filled to capacity with teardrops that sat unshed and glistening.

Her voice, so low he could barely hear, held an awkward, almost malevolent tone. "How? How to do know this? How do you know it was 'her' and not me? How?"

He brought her face to within millimeters of his. His lips just a breath from hers. "Because, sweetheart, my wife was taken as a host. I spent most of the last ten years tracking them down, studying them."

Perplexed, her eyebrows dove down as her gaze lifted. "You have a wife?" Her voice held surprise and a note of jealousy.

He couldn't help but smile at her reaction. They were still so close that he could feel her body heat. With a sigh Daniel laid his cheek against hers and whispered, "She died."

Palms against his chest she pushed him away. "How?"

"When the symbiote, the Goa'uld parasite, was killed."

"Why I'm I...what happened to my...symbiote? Or...or...oh, gods...I still..."

"No. The Tok'ra extracted yours. You're safe, Vala." Daniel brushed her lips with his and pulled her tightly into his arms. His chin on her shoulder, his eyes wide with concern, he forced himself to breathe, to calm down.

"Daniel?"

"Hmm?"

"Why didn't these Okras do that for your wife?"

Daniel closed his eyes for just a second or two. "Because," he told her softly, "my wife died with the Goa'uld when she was shot while trying to kill me."

Vala pulled away, meeting his eyes. "Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. But I won't deny I'm happy you're alive. But still, that's so sad."

"Yes. That was a long time ago. Now I have you."

"If I get my real memories back, will I remember more horrible things I...she did?"

"I don't know."

"I'm not so sure I want them back then."

He had no answer to that. "We should get back to the ship and wait until they leave the moon. I think it's too dangerous to stay around here."

~TBC


	4. Chapter 4

The Misadventure of Valerie Todad and Her Hostage Daniel Jackson

spacegypsy1

Chapter Four

~0o0o0~

Throwing the weight of his arm off from her waist, Vala gasped and stifled a scream. Breathing erratic, she sat up.

Daniel didn't have to ask. The nightmares had returned with a vengeance. Her hair, damp from sweat, clung to her bareback. Gently he touched her back, stroking her damp skin. After a moment he sat up behind her.

She cried, "I'm sorry," over and over, covering her face with her hands as she moved back to sit against him, knees to chest, arms tight around her legs.

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry for, Vala."

"For remembering monsters but unable to remember what I did to the nav system. And...and the beacon. And for kidnapping you."

Laying a hand on her shoulder and his chin on his hand he told her, "You didn't. I came because I wanted to."

"Well, I had a gun on you, then drugged you, then dragged you into the ship."

"I took the bullets. It was my idea to take out the chip. You drugged me to keep me from being in pain."

"I tied you up."

Daniel laughed, spinning her around to face him. "Hopefully not for the last time. We'll be fine, Vala. No matter what. We'll be fine. I couldn't have stayed behind and wondered. I couldn't have survived that. Not again."

A dark brow rose like a wing. "I'm in the habit of leaving you, frequently?"

Blue eyes smiling, he took a moment to respond. "No. It's just that our job is very dangerous. Things happen. We could lose one another at any moment. It's something we have to... I have to learn to deal with."

"We should leave here, shouldn't we? I mean what with all the new troops from that affiliation. That alliance. We will never get to the Stargate."

Her abrupt change of subject didn't faze him. "I think that's best."

"Surely this ship has some kind of tracking beacon?"

"You disabled it. Remember?"

"The only thing I can keep in my head is you, Daniel. You're all I remember. Or at the very least all I care to remember."

They sat a moment in companionable silence his arms around her waist, her head tilted back and her arms covering his.

It wasn't long before Vala grabbed his wrist and opened his arms like double doors. "So," she stated simply, stood and began to finger comb her hair. "When did I disable it?" She rifled around through the clothes tossing him his skivvies, then she shimmied into the pink panties and put his T- shirt on.

He donned the skivvies. "What? The navigation system?"

"No, darling. I think we fixed that."

"I don't think we can call it fixed. Navigation is down again. I'm afraid if I hit it any harder I'll break it. Or my hand."

"I meant the beacon, so your friends can find us if we go flying around and get lost."

"Our friends, Vala. They are all very fond of you."

She smiled, ducking her head. "So, anyway, exactly when did the disabling occur?"

"While I was drugged. Out of action. Unaware."

A shirtless Daniel - in nothing but his underwear - held her mesmerized for a moment. "Oh." She let out with a little staccato breath. "That's disturbing. Surely you had some moments of wakefulness? Do you remember where I was?"

"Huh?"

"Think, darling. Where was I? Surely your lovely eyes fluttered open now and then. Did you see anything?"

He thought a moment, then cocking his head to the side he brought his index finger to eye level, pointing as he looked across the room. "Right about there."

"That's a wall, silly."

"You were fussing with a panel...or something behind the wall."

"How? How did I..."

"I was barely conscious. And naked!"

"Sissy."

"Kidnapper."

She grinned, mouth wide and teeth clamped, shoulders scrunched up to her ears.

He mimicked her.

"Daniel?"

"Hmm?"

"Wouldn't tying a radio into the beacon's system..."

"I haven't seen a radio."

"I remember something." She crossed the ship.

"What is it?" Daniel stood, hopping from leg to leg as he got his jeans on.

"I think I know where some radios and other paraphernalia are."

"What paraphernalia?"

"Guns, bullets, vests, radios. Maybe more giraffes. Curling iron. Zats. They're in that wall. You only need to hit it in the right spot to pop it open."

"How do you know that, and I don't? Especially the popping it open part?"

"Because," she said turning with a wide grin. "That's where I hid them. That's where I found the giraffe in my pack. You see, I modified that wall...so only I knew. I modified it all by myself last year while you went to Boston for an archeological thingie, Sam was on the _Hammond,_ Mitchell was in Kansas and Teal'c was on Dakara."

"Vala?" He said her name slowly, softly, questioningly.

"Oh, my. I remember. Oh my! I remember!" She turned and closed the distance between them, catapulting herself into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. "I remember, darling."

He grabbed her six and smiled at her.

"Rats!" She slid down, planting her feet firmly on the ship's deck. "I remember that you...didn't...we weren't...well we sort of were...though we both kept screwing it up. Oh I hate this rememb..."

"Shh, I love you, and yes, there were times we argued, and barely tolerated each other but not recently. Recently we've been closer and I adore you. I would never have made love to you if I didn't love you."

"What a mess I've got us into Daniel!"

"It's not your fault."

"Oh, that witch Athena! It's all her fault. It makes me dizzy just thinking about it."

"Yes." Hands on her shoulders he turned her towards the wall giving her a little shove for momentum. "Now please find the radios while I study the nav system to see if I can get it online and find a way home, or at least find another planet with a Stargate."

"Right. Radios. Why do we need radios?"

He turned from the nav station, perplexed. "Because we need them to rig to the ship for a homing device."

She approached him, her face screwed up in confusion, eyebrows tilted one up and one down, mouth askew and an edge of her bottom lip between her teeth. "Silly," she finally said, coming forward, leaning across the pilot seat, and hitting a sequence of buttons and switches. "There. Why'd you turn it off?"

Mouth agape he could only stare.

"What?" Pulling her hands cupped one into the other to her chest she blanched. "Why are you looking at me like that? And really, why'd you turn the beacon off? And all you have to do when the Nav system goes haywire, other than hitting it with our fists, is switch the crystals...blue for clear and clear for blue. I hadn't been able to fully repair it and I didn't want any of the technicians to know I haven't figured it out yet."

When he didn't move she frowned at him. "Well, aren't you going to switch clear to blue and blue to clear?"

"Right." Daniel returned to see Navigation up and running. "Wow. Sometimes you amaze me." His grin faded quickly as Vala grabbed her head with both hands. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure. Actually, I'm quite confused."

"Sit down."

"Where are we?" Waving his concerns away, she pulled up the display. "Oh! Chi'kala. Oh dear, not a good spot. We could be arrested. Or, at least I could get arrested. Why are we here, again? I mean weren't we just...was I...did we have dinner and a date? Oh! Oh! Daniel, we had mind blowing, body thrilling sex! Oh my gods," Vala sunk down into the seat pressing her hands over her eyes.

"Vala. Look at me."

When she removed her hands and her eyes rose to his he noticed the pupils looked odd just before her lids fluttered and then closed and she slid out of the seat.

"Vala!" He caught her and lowered her to the deck. "Vala?" When he couldn't wake her Daniel reached for the console and set a course towards Earth.

As the ship lurched into hyperspace he tenderly tapped her cheek. "Hey, sweetheart? Come on, wake up. I need you." He lifted her, cradling her body close. "Vala?"

Her eyes blinked then opened very slowly. "Oh! You!" She gave him a lopsided smile. "We had amazing sex. Did you know I once worked at a diner? I was in a car wreck, recently, and I took Mitchell's pants off. I'm crazy, wonko in love you." Her head flopped against his chest and she moaned.

"Hang on. We'll get some help soon. Vala?"

"Right. Good." Again, her gaze lifted to his, and she managed a slight grin. "I cuffed Mitchell to the bed. Uh oh! Sorry, not what you think."

He cradled her head in his hands completely overwrought with worry. "Come on, stay awake. Look at me, don't go to sleep."

"Daniel?"

"I'm right here. Vala? You need to stay awake. Please." Daniel watched her closely.

"I was... Qetesh was hideous and horrific...did you know that she once killed an entire monastery of hundreds of monks because they gave bread to Athena's starving Jaffa?"

"Do you know that you once flew a ship right into a forming Ori Supergate to save the universe from domination and certain death?"

"Why are you so blurry?"

"Vala, do not go to sleep."

"Mmm, love yo..."

~0o0o0~

"Colonel Carter?" Marks looked up to his CO who stood staring at the view screen, just as her old teammates, Colonel Mitchell and Teal'c did. "The signal's getting stronger, I've corrected our course. We should be at their coordinates within the hour. I believe we could get a message through now."

Looking back over her shoulder Sam called across the bridge, "We need to encode the message. I'm not sure how, but some way Vala can't read it. Cam?"

Lost in thought the colonel continued to stare ahead.

She approached laying a hand on his shoulder. "Cam?"

"Oh, sorry. Yeah?"

"We need to send a message that Vala couldn't translate, just in case. I'm thinking Mandarin."

"Okay, I'm on it."

~0o0o0~

With his back turned to the helm, Daniel tried unsuccessfully to wake Vala. Hearing a low beep from the console he swung around, gaze locking on the flashing comm light.

Gently placing Vala back on the floor, he bounded to the controls and retrieved the message. He hastily constructed a reply and sent their coordinates, leaving out 'WTF took you so long?' but only because he didn't want to take the time to figure out how to encode WTF.

Kneeling beside her Daniel brushed stains of hair from her face before he checked her over then closed his eyes. Her breathing and pulse seemed fine, but what if she doesn't wake up? What if...

"YOU!" She spat out.

His eyes popped open and his gaze landed on narrowed eyes glaring.

"You've ruined the best deal I've ever had!"

"Whaa...?"

With the speed of a cheetah, Vala had him in a leg lock, flipping him backwards. He grunted with the impact of his back and butt against the hard metal of the floor. Moving with practiced speed she hopped up, jumped him and landed with knees splayed over his shoulders, legs folded back and pinning his arms.

He laughed, heartily, though disappointed he couldn't reach and fondle her lovely thighs.

Confused, she hardened her glare and asked, "What's so funny?"

His gaze dropped. "I will never stop loving you, no matter who you are."

"That doesn't make any sense. I hardly know you!"

"But, you did kiss me."

"Hmph! Well." Vala's brows went low in concentration. "Yes. Maybe I do remember something wicked about you. Something more than kissing. But..."

The two looked up, astonished by the sudden tingle and white light as they were beamed away.

~0o0o0~

Sam, Teal'c and Mitchell along with the entire Bridge complement stared, mouths agape as the couple materialized.

Clearing her throat loudly, Sam took a few steps towards them.

"Where am I!" Vala demanded, heart racing. Confusion apparent.

"It's okay, Vala. We're your friends."

Her head swung back to her hostage. "Who are they? I don't have friends!"

"Sure you do. You just don't remember." Daniel was grinning. Happy she was awake and not really caring which character she was. They were safe. He looked over at Sam, still grinning. "You didn't happen to bring Dr. Lam or Hutchinson with you, did you?"

Carolyn came forward. "I'm right here."

Wild-eyed and frightened Vala's gaze went from Daniel to the crew.

"Carolyn, can you give her some...er...happy juice because she is more than capable of escaping this ship." When he shifted his eyes back to Vala he found her staring at him with a blank expression. A good sign she was trying to figure things out.

He cocked his head to one side, repeatedly.

Her brows scrunched and she shrugged her shoulders not understanding.

He did it again and again until she finally, and extremely slowly, started bending over and lowering her face closer to his.

Whispering, he told her, "This is really turning me on, however, I think you should get up. You're outnumbered and Carolyn only wants to help."

Eyes cutting to the crowd watching, Vala mumbled something.

"Hmm?"

"What's 'happy juice?" When she pressed her lips against his ear Daniel shivered.

She'd moved back to get closer, straddling his hips now. Swallowing loudly, he attempted to clear his throat, failing, so that his murmured response came out deep and intimate. "Like...like Klingon Ale."

"Oh." She flicked her tongue in his ear, sat up and grinned. "Well, I see I'm surrounded." She stood. "Why is everyone looking at me? It was his idea to have sex!"

Groaning, Daniel turned his head in the opposite direction of the audience for a short moment. Turning back, he smiled. "Don't let her go to sleep, cause she'll wake up as someone else. But I'm gonna sleep now." Closing his eyes he remained on the deck and relaxed, exhaustion finally taking a toll.

He felt someone take hold of his arm. "Come on, buddy, let's get you to sick bay."

"Mitchell, please just let me sleep."

"Not a chance." Sam squatted down beside him, humor lacing her words. "Should I send for a stretcher? Wheel chair?"

With a weary groan, Daniel stood with Sam's and Mitchell's help.

"Major," Sam turned to her 2IC, "I'll be in the infirmary if you need me. The Bridge is yours."

Teal'c took over for Sam and supported Daniel. "Can you walk, DanielJackson?"

Moaning and groaning, Daniel closed his eyes. "Barely."

"Too much activity with ValaMalDoran?" Without so much as a twitch of an eyebrow, Teal'c waited for an answer.

Mouth open in awe, Daniel stared as Cam and Sam both burst out laughing.

"Really, Daniel, you, you slept with an amnesiac?" Sam asked, following close behind.

Head hanging the reluctant archeologist stuttered a hasty excuse. "I was...she was...at the time she didn't...er...wasn't...she knew me, just not completely herself...but she was all there, somewhere, you know, in and out...her that is."

"Oh my God, Daniel, you did sleep with her!" Sam stopped in the middle of the hallway, shocked.

As Mitchell and Teal'c hauled him into the infirmary, Sam heard Daniel's reply. "Believe me, it had nothing to do with sleeping."

~0o0o0~

When Daniel woke, Vala was leaning over him, hair smelling freshly washed, her faced relaxed, lips moist and pink.

He smiled, hand wrapping around the back of her neck. Pulling her towards him his smile grew.

"Darling," she murmured, "not here. We have an assemblage."

Voice low and sexy, his thumb rubbing her cheek, eyelids half closed with sleepiness, Daniel sighed. "Oh. Where are we and who are you?"

Shocked, Vala jerked away from him and spun around. "Oh my gods, is it contagious!"

Daniel laughed. "No. It was a joke."

She turned her head and glared, angrily. "Not funny."

"'Kay. So, why am I in the infirmary and not you?"

"Because I'm all well. Brain completely unscrambled. I'm no longer..." Twirling a finger around her ear she grinned, "wonko." Leaning close she whispered in his ear, "Though I do remember all the good parts. Anyway, you slept twelve hours."

He sat up, suddenly. "Twelve hours?"

Lips smashed and cheeks puffed out she nodded before finally telling him, "You missed all the fun stuff."

Scanning the room he found that Teal'c, Mitchell and General Landry stood around the room. "What fun stuff?"

Twisting left she pointed to one shoulder patch, then twisted right and pointed to the other. "Like these! I'm officially one of you guys now! And we're off to celebrate, sorry you can't go, but we'll bring something back." She leaned closer again. "Carolyn says you get released first thing in the morning. I'm hoping we can...well...have our own celebration at home."

"Home?" He all but squeaked out.

"Um hmm. I told them our date was actually a bit more than a date and that we frequently...'date' at your apartment. I know it was a lie, but that way they think it all was, well, okay, I mean all that happened, not the losing my mind, or the handcuffing of Mitchell, but the other, intimate things that happened. So, when Sam gets back and apologizes for calling you out for having sex with an amebiac...amnesiac...don't act surprised." She kissed him soundly, open mouthed, tongue and teeth involved right there in front of the others.

Unable to resist he kissed her back. Thinking what the hell difference could it make now?

"See you soon. When we finish our date." Waggling her brows Vala took out with Teal'c and Cam right behind her.

"Been 'dating' a while I hear." Landry stood at the foot of his bed.

Daniel feigned exhaustion when really all he wanted to do was jump up and chase Vala down. "Sir?"

"We'll talk when you're released. Before you and Vala have another... 'date,' if in fact you are dating." Bushy brows rose and with a nod, Landry left.

"Oookaaayy. Fine. We're 'dating'!"

~END


End file.
